I have a story. It’s a story of more bloody cowardice. In one of it’s most riveting forms, text. I’ve met Tara Redmond exactly twice. My first impressions of her matter little in light of what I’ve recently uncovered as the stench of foul smelling fear and stupidity.

The story begins one night at good old one eyed jacks, with rum, whiskey and my favorite drink; water. Yes I was drinking water, how cool is that?!

I don’t enjoy being as drunk as some. I don’t judge persons for their drunkenness. I judge their stupid fucking actions.
As I was one of the bouncers at One Eyed Jacks, I have some minor experience in how ridiculous some of these folk can get. But Shannon usually isn’t the violent type. Nor is she stupid by anyone’s account (those whose account matters).

Anyway, It was Halloween and Shannon had her digital camera out taking pictures. Being quite the flamboyantly dressed evening, she ran out of memory space quickly. Sounds a great accomplishment as most cameras can hold thousands of pictures in the right format. But this cameras memory card was missing. So 30 pictures was the limit.

Had it been my camera (older style sony 3.2) It wouldn’t have held any pictures at all.

We asked ourselves, who had the camera last? Tara Redmond had it last (without permission of use, otherwise known as theft; Interesting as well to note that stealing a camera these days can get fairly costly in recompense).

Had Tara taken the memory card of the a camera? No. She had not.

What then would you assume, where does one normally keep a memory card: In the memory card slot of the bloody fucking camera. Why would one remove it, who the fuck knows? Perhaps to load it onto a computer but that also stipulates that one should put it the fuck back so it begs instead “Why would I not put it back?”

If you were using someone else’s camera without permission, wouldn’t it be slightly daft (excuse the sarcasm here: I’m sure you all know it would be horrendously stupid) to return it whole?

I texted here this verbatim when we came to the reasonable conclusion regarding the memory card

“Why do you need a memory card? Lol”

This is what I received:

“I have 3 of my own. Shannon is just really fucking stupid and expects everything to be handed to her.”

As you can see, only half of this response has anything to do with what I asked. Having things handed to her? If you took it without presmission and returned only half of what was needed for it to be operational (whole mind you) how is it stupid to expect what YOU bought and someone else STOLE to be handed to you?

What ensued was a textual banter that had no real meaning at all. Thought it did make me smile with every text because I knew Tara was becoming emotional. Letting the words get to her.

So I decide whatever it is what it is and Shannon can deal with her bratty sister.

Not so I find when I log into faithful Facebook!
I find, verbatim, this message in my inbox.


“i'd advise you not to get into the middle of shannon's "battles" until you know both sides of the story.

i work early, which i understand is a foreign concept to the both of you. but when you guys call and text message me late at night, my phone beeps an alert until i check the messages, which ultimately woke me up at 3 a.m.

shannon's memory card was on the same shelf on a bookshelf in the basement where it always is. she's just never had to do anything for herself, so looking for the thing didn't appear to dawn on her. but it was there. so now you both look pretty stupid.

thanks a lot, though.

really.”


I was not in the middle of anything, without quoting the rest of the responses to texts she gave me I can assure the reader that I was not in the middle of Shannon and Tara’s epic “spat”. I’ve already stated that assuming she took the memory card was plausible as it when away whole and came back apart.

If any of you know me you know I value freedoms over comforts and honest above all. So I replied to such an audacious posting:


“You're welcome! I don't really give a flying fuck about you or when you work : )

I don't need your advice on anything. Nor do I need to "know" anything about your side of.. anything. At all.

It might be a "foreign" concept to you that I really don't care but the fact that you woke up early and use your phone as an alarm rather than an alarm clock (so you can shut yer phone off corky ) makes me smile.

: ) < like this 'cept not so text-like.

You call that a battle? You really do make me smile, Tara. “


Well, she did make me smile. In fact, I’m still smiling while I write this.


“heh. you don't give a flying fuck about anyone then do you, barrett? do you realize that every time you and my hobag sister go to my parents' house after work, you wake them up? but you probably don't care because all that matters is barrett.

i use my phone as an alarm because i don't have an alarm clock that works.

grow up and don't fucking message me again or i'm going to assume that it's harrassment. and i don't see you wanting to mess with the father of your beloved girlfriend.”

Here’s the part that I’m fuzzy about, I am RESPONDING to her messages. I am not goading. I am not propositioning. Yet I’M the one who is harassing and must “grow up”? At the end of her obviously mature answer she hides behind her father, just as I accused her of doing over the phone (texts don’t need to be posted they were my useless enjoyment).

As IF I would ever “mess” with anyone including her father, he has nothing to do with this (a trend she continues).
I try to reason with her logic by employing my own:



“No, read it again illiterate. I don't care about YOU. Everyone else I ajust to accordingly.

If your father had a problem with being woken up i'm sure he doesn't need you of all people to vouche.

I'm not the one here taking verbal swipes at anyone. I just asked why you needed a memory card : ).

IF you message me I will message you back all I fucking please, if you don't want me to talk to you, don't speak to me.

Seriously how arrogant can you been to assume that if I don't care about you the same must be true for everyone else, you aren't the most important person on the planet lil girl, 'specially not to me.”




“well, considering that even though my mother HAS SAID THINGS (which i know to be factual as it came from her mouth) and the two of you still continue to make enough noise to wake her up, i'm going to assume that you've adjusted accordingly and just don't respect my parents?

keep in mind you messaged me first. in fact, you've messaged me first every time. forget my phone number. this is me asking you civilly to cease your stupid, drunken messages to me. anymore and i'll just go to your phone provider and ask them to deal with it.”

Here lies the end of our tale because she has run away. She removed me from her “friends” on Facebook so I cannot continue the banter. Here she REALLY brings up things that are none of her business and which also have nothing to do with me.
I was not talked to by anyone’s mother about anything, though Shannon’s mother did talk to HER about it. I have not been mentioned. Nor has she taken me aside to tell me anything.

And the second paragraph continues this blithe, blind, stupid and void argument that I somehow messaged her first when the posts are built VERTICALLY to depict who messaged who.

She claims civility just like she claims virtue and she wears them both like a hookers outfit; covering her very, very little.

I doubt she even knows who my phone provider (that a close friend is corporate in) actually is.
The point here is another good look at cowardice, she claims, she defends, she loses and ultimately runs away.

Flawless performance by the gutless.