God Survey


1. How did you find out about your Deity?
More than one is acceptable.
___ Newspaper
___ Bible
___ Torah
___ Book of Mormon
___ Koran
___ Divine inspiration
___ Tabloid
___ Burning shrubbery
___ Other (specify):________

2. Which model Deity did you acquire?*
___ Yahweh
___ Father, Son & Holy Ghost [Trinity Pak]
___ Jehovah
___ Jesus
___ Krishna
___ Zeus and entourage [Olympus Pak]
___ Odin and entourage [Valhalla Pak]
___ Allah
___ Satan
___ God 1.0a (hairy thunderer)
___ God 1.0b (cosmic muffin)
___ None of the above; I was taken in by a false god

3. Did your Deity come to you undamaged, with all parts in good working order and with no obvious breakage or missing attributes?
Please indicate all that apply:
___ Not eternal
___ Finite in space/Does not occupy or inhabit the entire cosmos
___ Not omniscient
___ Not omnipotent
___ Not infinitely plastic (incapable of being all things to all creations)
___ Permits sex outside of marriage
___ Prohibits sex outside of marriage
___ Makes mistakes (Pope Benedict, George Bush)
___ Makes or permits bad things to happen to good people
___ When beseeched, doesn't stay beseeched
___ Requires burnt offerings
___ Requires virgin sacrifices
___ Plays dice with the universe

4. What factors were relevant in your decision to acquire a Deity?
Please check all that apply.
___ Indoctrinated by parents
___ Needed a reason to live
___ Indoctrinated by society
___ Needed focus in whom to despise
___ Imaginary friend grew up
___ Wanted to know Jesus in the Biblical sense
___ Graduated from the tooth fairy
___ Hate to think for myself
___ Wanted to meet girls/boys
___ Fear of death
___ Wanted to piss off parents
___ Needed a day away from work
___ Desperate need for certainty
___ Like organ music
___ Need to feel morally superior
___ Thought Jerry Falwell was cool
___ My shrubbery caught fire and told me to do it

5.In five lines or less, please describe what makes your Deity different than the rest.(be descriptive)
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*some gods were not included.

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A lie is something that's only valuable to yourself. Truth is valuable to everyone. If the only thing you have to offer is something that is only valuable to you, then people will eventually not seek you out for what you have to offer.

Somehow my name was inadvertently omitted from the list of deities. Surely just an oversight. Excellent post, otherwise. Like any of them other gods are real. *scoffs*

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I felt a few infidels might respond, giving you an opportunity to smite them and curse them, raining down plagues and devastation upon them, killing their cattle and crops,...or...do nothing and let millions upon millions, nay, all mankind just think they were correct in their blasphemous ways, thereby allowing eternal damnation to be dispensed at your whim.

_________________
A lie is something that's only valuable to yourself. Truth is valuable to everyone. If the only thing you have to offer is something that is only valuable to you, then people will eventually not seek you out for what you have to offer.