Ufc 128 Predictions:-
1) How the fuck did Dan Miller get matched up with Nate The Great when the better Miller (Jimbo) got Kamal Shalorus? No matter. I've got Marquardt winning this one in the first round by broken face syndrome, either that or he'll make dry man love on top, on the back and sides, and occasionally to the face of a prone Miller.
2) All I know about Kamal Shalorus is from one fight in the W.E.C where he looked like a lightning fast scary little bastard. Jim Miller on the other hand is a lightning fast scary little bastard. You've got to go with the stats on this one, Miller's had 19 wins and is on a 6 fight win streak, a quick peek on Shershite tells me that Shalorus is on 7 wins with 2 draws. I reckon Miller wins this one via quadruple dislocations in the 2nd round, and goes on for a shot at the title, which I expect will be held by Gray Maynard.
3) Cro Cop vs Brendan Schaub. This fight is over before it's even begun, I saw it at the the weigh ins, Cro Cop hit the scales smiling and emanated what can only be described as a "I'm going to fucking kick you so hard in the head Brendan Schaub, that you'll spend the rest of your days as a mindless quivering vegetable" and because I just typed that I've just jinxed the poor bastard and Schaub will probably drag it to the ground and punch Cro Cops face into soft offal. Bummer.
4) I couldn't give a flying fuck about Joseph Benavidez vs. Ian Loveland so I anticipate that this will probably be fight of the night.
5) Uber Dimple Chin vs Eddie Wineland, I reckon Faber's got this one, I'd like to see a win via epic running slam. Just pick the bastard up and drive him kicking and screaming through the floor and into the Earth's crust. Either that or a nifty little guillotine. What round? How the fuck would I know?
6) Shogun vs Jones. I've got to go with Jones on this one via super long stretchy arms. And also because my predictions apart from all but 2 in the last 40 or so UFC events have all been wrong and I want Shogun to fucking batter the cunt ( I hope he's not reading this...) The real entertainment will happen after the fight when Rogan goes to interview Jonny Bones, and fucking Nobby of all people appears behind them both in a blinding flash of light and smoke, whacks Jones over the head with a set of 36 inch stilsons, gives Rogan his trademark flying spaz to the balls, and then fires a grappling hook into the air, and disappears with the belt deep into the buildings superstructure. If this happens, and it will, I'll be expecting a phone call from the Bald Father Dana White and it'll be on... The Nobby hunt.
And there you go, you might notice that I left out a few of the fights from the card but if you really give a toss, you try writing this shit, it takes a massive toll on me. We only have a finite amount of prognostatagive ( <--- what the hell?) juice in our systems and I splurge it onto the page for your pleasure! But at least I was totally objective.
I'm fucking hungry. I must away.
ok.
