Shit List 2013.

It occurred to me earlier, (chatting to a complete bellend) that I'm still a misanthropic bastard and should do another shit list, just for the hell of it. I did the first one in 2007, and it's fucking depressing that I'm still here 6 years later, but what can you do eh? Many fingers makes more bread. What amazes me is that I even had an internet connection in 2007? Fortunately due to an impressive system I developed for repressing any memories I may have had before 2011, 2007 thankfully remains a blank sheet to me. Even better than that quite a few of the old regs from Winmx have died, and more people should follow their example. People like....

1) Robert.

I was slightly concerned that I wasn't going to be able to match the spleen of my previous efforts, I'm obviously older and wiser these days, much more handsome, but still sharp as a rapists cock. Most of what's said in the rooms, forums, facebook etc, I can just take or leave, but occasionally you'll get someone of such mind bending cretiny that it's not fair to let their bullshit go unnoticed in case it goes septic and spreads. Robert is one of these people. From what I know about him, he's a toilet attendant at a major railway station somewhere in Australia. Unable to construct a coherent sentence, this doesn't stop Robert from pressing on with a form of gibberish completely undecipherable to any creature with an IQ over the score of 10. Robert can normally be found chatting with Skullfuck (proving my theory about the IQ points) and the topic will invariably be that of anal sex. The man is obsessed with his ring piece. Not much more is known about Robert apart from these facts, I think I saw him mention once that he fell off some scaffolding on a particularly tricky blocked toilet job, and cracked his head on the porcelain so hard he never recovered, but no one can tell if this is true or not. Robert then. The most stupid cunt I've ever seen on the internet ( which is a hell of a thing.)

2) Weltgiest.

This fucking worthless sack of piss gets so firmly on my tits that I hope he gets caught in the blades of an agricultural rototiller. A conspiracy nut even higher on the white coat level of fuckheadedness than Q, This wanker believes EVERYTHING is either a plot orchestrated by the Jews, the Illuminati, aliens, or a subspecies of humanity that has managed to exist beneath the earth's lower mantle for millions of years and use their incredible technology to manipulate the forward progression of "The Universes." Welt is armed with facts gathered from the most top secret of impregnable websites, such as Youtube, and Infowars, Wikipedia, and sometimes even first hand from an expert in the field of absolute bullshit, Gandalf. Welt can mostly be found crying in Heresy, apparently he lives in his car and only leeches from wireless connections, in case they manage to trace back his IP and send super soldiers around to extract all the knowledge he's accrued from years of tin foiled hatted dedication. They would leave with nothing.

3) Fucking Cludge.

Once a teacher at the Spastic Centre in Glasgow, Cludge found the work fulfilling and often took it home with him. The local council became suspicious of his activities however, after his neighbours began complaining about "grunting" that would last anywhere from 4-8 hours every evening. "The walls are very thin." said Agnes 83 " And I can hear bottles breaking and squealing. It sounds like a pig being tortured!" No charges were ever filled but unable to cope with the public outcry, Cludge became bitter and vowed to never work anywhere ever again. A life long member of the Tory party, Cludge let his membership lapse in 2009, and was devastated that due to previous convictions (public nudity) he couldn't vote for David Cameron at the general elections in 2010. Some say he is still bitter, and the only way he can cope with life, is sitting on a park bench and throwing empty cans of tennents at foreigners. Or coming into Winmx and talking bollocks. Whatever's right.

There we go, can't be bothered to do any more. In fact I can't think of anyone else at the moment that deserves a spot on the shit list. This can change quicker than my underpants though, I am rather temperamental. There's always hope for these people, shy was once number one on a previous shit list and now she's one of my favourite people to chat with, and without descending into some sort of saccharine school girl mush, most of the fuckers I chat with in Winmx are good fun. Cheers.