The Q Files, one mans quest to make a leathery old granny look like a spaz.
completely objective chat log recorded from the room:- SHORT HAIRED CARPET MUNCHERS AND DYKES UNITE!
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Topic: Have you ever wondered what your subconscious mind looks like? Well today, I can show you.
http://www.rustypipe.com/Qum Guzzler687(DSL) (691 Files) (72.101.183.59) has entered
<Sprinkles505> I thought I'd find you here, that's why I'm just leaving.
<Qum Guzzler687> oh hey sprink, let me just adjust myself, my camo pants are sticking to my bedsores again.
<Sprinkles505> jesus christ.
<Qum Guzzler687> it's not too bad at the moment, but when it gets hot i start sticking to things. Smells like infection.
<Sprinkles505> well look, moving swiftly on... Can you explain what you meant in this comment you made to Prick? <Qhili.Qon.Queso.687> prick.. watch for an "event" to ahppen in mid-October, early November. remember these dates and we will discuss it further
<Qum Guzzler687> No. Fuck off.
<Sprinkles505> But I thought you wanted to discuss it further?
<Qum Guzzler687> I hope an elephant walks on your head.
<Qum Guzzler687> has left
<Sprinkles505> I'm going to investigate.
And fucking investigate I done. before we get into it though...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AN5AULwx9AA Brain music.
Using mid october as my datum point I have scoured the internets for anything that qualifies, in my mind at least, as an "event".
I also took into account Q's massive mentalness, I am after all trying to be objective, but I did what I could and hopefully anything that appears on the list below might shed some light on her foul ravings.
I need a fucking drink, that's what I need. Let's press on.
EVENT 1
Apparently in October this happened
Not much more I can say about this really, but as you can see it's certainly an event of some sort.
EVENT 2
October 28th, The World Ferret Racing Championships opened its doors and drew in a record crowd of 98 people. Fortunately I was there and spoke to the main honcho a Mr Ian Nolan. He was a very busy man and it was obvious he had no time for my questions, which were the following. Why the fuck are you racing ferrets? And, Is this the big event? He neither confirmed or denied this, and as for why 98 people came from council estates the length and breadth of the world to watch long rodents scurrying down a saw dust track... Well, we can only speculate.
EVENT 3 ( Probably the second to last event, turns out there haven't been as many events as I, or indeed Q had hoped.)
I changed my bedsheets, ate an apple.
Big cunt of a spider fell on me, I absolutely shit my pants and 20 minutes later when I regained my wits I twatted the bastard with a brick.
EVENT 4
November 8, an asteroid 4 times bigger than gods ass hurtles directly towards the planet. This is cause for celebration and a giant end of the world party is planned and peace, unity, love and friendship flow over the surface of the earth like a tide of schmaltzy sick. This doesn't last. Fucking NASA decide that it's not going to hit us after all, people become angry at the prospect of living once more, so everything goes back to normal and sanity is restored.
There you have it. If you think I've left out anything feel free to keep that information to yourself.
Many fingers makes more bread.
OK